If your relationship isn\u2019t feeling alive; if it\u2019s feeling stuck or stagnant; if you\u2019re constantly wondering if you\u2019d be happier with someone else…<\/p>\n
…then your relationship is lacking tension (the right kind of tension).<\/p>\n
Tension that comes from the both of you fully owning the truth of yourselves with each other. Without sanding off the edges.<\/p>\n
Tension that comes from a relationship constantly growing, evolving, and pushing up against it\u2019s former bounds…then bursting straight through to richer, more intimate territory.<\/p>\n
Tension that comes from continuously dancing on the razor\u2019s edge of the unknown, rather than settling in the comfort zone of the known.<\/p>\n
Tension that comes from putting what\u2019s true FIRST, not the relationship. And being willing to risk the entire relationship for truth.<\/p>\n
But so many of us are doing the exact opposite: suppressing our truth for the relationship.
\nTo hide or smooth over any parts of ourselves that might bring up \u201cdiscomfort\u201d (aka tension) in the relationship.<\/p>\n
Constantly contorting ourselves to dissipate any sign of tension – then mistaking the resulting relief as a sign of well-being.<\/p>\n
And then we wonder why we start to feel a low-grade deadness in the background. A dullness. An offness…but why? There are no big \u201cproblems\u201d. We\u2019re getting along fine, right?<\/p>\n
(This is also when the tension can start to bubble out sideways via unclean channels. Where it manifests as unhealthy, dishonest, or \u201ctoxic\u201d behaviors.)<\/p>\n
And then our minds start tinkering, looking for solutions in the external:
\nDo they actually make me fulfilled? Are we right for each other? Would I be happier with someone else, or is this just how relationships are?<\/p>\n
But you don\u2019t get the answer to these questions by THINKING about them (as if it was a math problem to solve). <\/p>\n
It\u2019s answered by the tension itself – if you stop trying so hard to suppress it and allow it to naturally do it\u2019s damn thing!<\/p>\n
Then, the tension will eventually reveal that you are, in fact, incompatible…or will propel you even deeper into greater intimacy, love, and connection.<\/p>\n
All you have to do is stop contorting yourself to make the relationship WORK (as if it\u2019s some sort of project that needs to be properly managed)…<\/p>\n
…and start letting the full authenticity of yourselves come to the surface. Without guardrails or bubble padding.<\/p>\n
Then let the tension of the truth emerge.<\/p>\n
Dance with it.<\/p>\n
And let it take you and your relationship exactly where it needs to go.<\/p>\n
**Hint: all of the above also applies to your relationship with life, regardless of romantic status.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
If your relationship isn\u2019t feeling alive; if it\u2019s feeling stuck or stagnant; if you\u2019re constantly wondering if you\u2019d be happier with someone else…<\/p>\n
…then your relationship is lacking tension (the right kind of tension).<\/p>\n
Tension that comes from the both of you fully owning the truth of yourselves with each other. Without sanding off the edges.<\/p>\n
Tension that comes from a relationship constantly growing, evolving, and pushing up against it\u2019s former bounds…then bursting straight through to richer, more intimate territory.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2657,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":""},"categories":[14],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/jaeminyi.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/dani-maiz-winter-tensions-and-disputes.png?fit=1400%2C1050&ssl=1","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p79mZF-GQ","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jaeminyi.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2656"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jaeminyi.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jaeminyi.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jaeminyi.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jaeminyi.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2656"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.jaeminyi.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2656\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2682,"href":"https:\/\/www.jaeminyi.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2656\/revisions\/2682"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jaeminyi.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2657"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jaeminyi.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2656"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jaeminyi.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2656"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jaeminyi.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2656"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}