I\u2019ve been working with a mentor\/coach for the past few weeks and it already feels like one of the best decisions I\u2019ve ever made.<\/p>\n
We literally have life-changing breakthroughs and shifts with EVERY single call. No joke. And it almost feels like my duty to share what I\u2019ve been learning from him.<\/p>\n
Here\u2019s one recent lesson that\u2019s already gone off like an atom bomb in my life (in the best way):<\/p>\n
Talk real shit. Meaningful shit. Shit you ACTUALLY care about with the people in your life.<\/strong><\/p>\n Share what you\u2019re diving into, what you\u2019re learning about, the things you\u2019re chewing on and struggling with, your inner growth, your views on relationships, love, on life itself.<\/p>\n Are you doing this with your friends? Family? On dates? If not, that means you\u2019re treating every opportunity for connection like a JOB INTERVIEW. Putting on a performance. Waiting to be assessed. Trying to meet expectations. <\/p>\n Instead of just being your true, authentic self.<\/p>\n I myself realized that I would talk about real shit\u2026but only with close friends. Only with people who I thought would \u201cget it\u201d.<\/p>\n But not with my mom. Or on dates. Or with friends who don't do this kind of inner work.<\/p>\n As my mentor says, \u201cif you can\u2019t talk to your mom, you can't talk to a supermodel. But the good news is that if you CAN talk to your mom, you CAN talk to a supermodel. To a retail worker. To an executive. To anyone. They're all the same.\u201d<\/p>\n I realized I was putting people into these separate little boxes, pretending that they\u2019re different, and censoring or adjusting myself based on those imaginary differences.<\/p>\n But that\u2019s bullshit.<\/p>\n Not only was I not showing up as WHO I really am, but it\u2019s also condescending as hell. To not give people the loving respect to have REAL conversations with them and to engage with them in ways that are meaningful to me.<\/p>\n Since I was hit with this truth, I\u2019ve been consciously trying to say real shit with the people in my life. <\/p>\n And the results have already been transformative.<\/p>\n I finally had a real conversation with my mom that I\u2019ve been putting off my whole life: sharing that I wanted to start saying \u201cI love you\u201d to her and was nervous that she\u2019d be uncomfortable with it. <\/p>\n Not only did she say \u201cI love you\u201d back, but she shared with me a touching story about growing up in a culture that never said those words. How, when she left Korea, she penned a letter to her parents through tears and wrote \u201cI love you\u201d to them for the first (and last) time ever. <\/p>\n It was an incredible moment we got to experience together.<\/p>\n Since then, I\u2019ve had many more real, human conversations with my parents – breaking out of that stifling \u201cparents \/ son\u201d paradigm we've been stuck in our whole lives. I\u2019ve been sharing more of my inner thoughts and life with them, and they\u2019ve returned in kind. And we\u2019ve never felt closer and more connected.<\/p>\n I also broke through those imaginary barriers with a woman I\u2019ve been dating. <\/p>\n I never shared much about my self-growth journey with her since I (condescendingly) assumed she wouldn\u2019t get it or be interested. But one day, I decided to just tell her all about this wild inner journey<\/a> I\u2019ve been on the past few months – about the powerful work I\u2019ve been doing with coaches, the emotional blocks that were rapidly dissolving, and the new perspectives and shifts I was being opened up to.<\/p>\n Not only did she LOVE hearing about all of it, but she wanted to learn more to apply to her own life! And it brought us closer together. Now that that barrier's been taken down, we just continue opening up more and more, reaching depths that I never imagined were possible.<\/p>\n There\u2019s still a lot of room for me to grow in this area, but I\u2019m already enjoying the power – and the immediate benefits – of saying real, meaningful shit to people. <\/p>\n To everyone.<\/p>\n Giving the loving respect to share my real, meaningful self with them – and allowing them to share their real, meaningful selves in kind.<\/p>\n