\u201cI wish I was better at giving advice.\u201d<\/p>\n
My housemate was perched in her usual spot, the breakfast nook of our 38-person mansion<\/a>, thinking out loud.<\/p>\n \u201cWhy?\u201d, I asked.<\/p>\n \u201cBecause I\u2019ve got nothing to offer when people open up to me. No great wisdom. No sage-like advice. Nothing!\u201d<\/p>\n Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold up.<\/p>\n This actually shocked me. Sure, maybe she didn\u2019t give advice like Dear Abby, but who cared? <\/p>\n There were SO many ways she\u2019s imparted her wisdom onto others. But through BEING rather than TELLING.<\/strong><\/p>\n For example, she had this way of fully, 100% owning whatever she was doing. No matter how ridiculous it was. Whether it was dancing to Motown jams in her underwear, freely burping or galloping around a room, or shamelessly taking the last piece of bacon (and laughing at herself throughout it all).<\/p>\n She gave everyone around her permission to be their full, weird, unabashed human selves. <\/p>\n Or the way she took on leadership roles. Whenever something needed to be handled or she was struck by inspiration – she would handle it ASAP! <\/p>\n She charged ahead, no hemming and hawing, no procrastination, no putting it on a list. She just took action without a huge song and dance, embodying the principles of a \u201cdo-ocracy\u201d – inspiring many of us to DO rather than wait for permission.<\/p>\n I saw firsthand how the way she lived directly influenced and changed those around her – myself included. <\/p>\n She may not consider herself a great advice-giver, but to me, that\u2019s only ONE of many possible ways to impact others. And often, it can be the weakest.<\/p>\n Advice is overrated in our culture.<\/p>\n We\u2019re a culture obsessed with the quick fix. With the simple solution. That the right combination of words arranged in a sentence is all it takes to change someone\u2019s life.<\/p>\n But that\u2019s not how most change actually happens. That\u2019s not how most DEEP, EVER-LASTING change happens.<\/p>\n That kind of change is harder to see because it\u2019s under-the-surface. It\u2019s influences are more nebulous and harder to spot. Harder to boil down to a simple talking point.<\/p>\n But it\u2019s this kind of deeper, non-intellectual influence that goes all the way down. To the root. <\/p>\n And that\u2019s where the real magic happens.<\/p>\n I find a similar thing happens with reading.<\/p>\n When I read a book, my mind is fixated on the details. Highlighting sentences that I want to hold onto. Trying to remember specific examples and data points.<\/p>\n But just days later, my mind will struggle to remember any of those conceptual bits of information.<\/p>\n If I can\u2019t hold on to any specific lines from a book, does this mean reading it was a complete waste of my time?<\/p>\n No, not at all.<\/p>\n More important than remembering specific sentences is being immersed in the author\u2019s mind for hours and hours. Having their unique perspective rub off on you.<\/p>\n