{"id":2247,"date":"2017-05-21T21:34:15","date_gmt":"2017-05-22T05:34:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.jaeminyi.com\/?p=2247"},"modified":"2017-08-07T15:56:25","modified_gmt":"2017-08-07T23:56:25","slug":"community","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jaeminyi.com\/community\/","title":{"rendered":"You Don’t Need ‘The One’, You Need Community"},"content":{"rendered":"
I\u2019ve spent the past 2 years exploring community living. First in an OM house<\/a>, then a 38-person mansion, and now, in a 12-person Haight-Ashbury co-op. <\/p>\n And it\u2019s made one thing abundantly clear to me: community is one of our deepest, most foundational needs – and the one thing most of us are missing.<\/strong><\/p>\n Words can\u2019t describe how incredibly fulfilling it\u2019s been to wake up everyday to a house of people who love each other, appreciate one another, cook together, share together, solve problems together, laugh and cry together.<\/p>\n And all of this on a DAILY basis. To connect and live and grow together, in real-time. Not just catching up over dinners and happy hours.<\/p>\n Now, I had a feeling community living would be special but even I was surprised at how deeply impactful it actually was. It\u2019s filled a hole within me that I didn\u2019t even realize was there.<\/p>\n A lingering sense of emptiness, loneliness, and stagnation that I had spent the past decade thinking was just what it felt like to be an adult.<\/p>\n So imagine my surprise when over the past 2 years of community living, that feeling melted away. No, it didn\u2019t magically fix all my problems. But it sated a deep, missing need that I believe many of us feel.<\/p>\n In our culture, I think we supplant that need with the need for a soulmate. A life partner. \u201cThe One.\u201d<\/p>\n But that yearning we feel? That hole, that nagging feeling that something\u2019s missing?<\/p>\n I believe that\u2019s the yearning for community.<\/p>\n The need to be really seen and appreciated. To be valued for your multiple, unique gifts. To feel that you\u2019re not going through life alone – to have support, love, and companionship on this crazy journey called life.<\/p>\n For 99% of human history, those needs were fulfilled by entire tribes, villages, and close-knit communities.<\/p>\n But these days, in the time of silo\u2019d off nuclear families and living with Craigslist strangers, we expect ONE person to fulfill all those needs. And more.<\/p>\n Not only is this completely unrealistic, but it places undue burden and stress onto our romantic relationships.<\/p>\n No one person can play the role of an entire village. Nor should they.<\/p>\n Only a village can do that.<\/p>\n And I\u2019m not the only one who feels this way. <\/p>\n Many of my community friends have reported feeling a similar sense of deep fulfillment (and decrease in romantic pressure).<\/p>\n Sebastian Junger, author of Tribe<\/a>, noticed that many former soldiers longed to return to war. Not for war itself, but for the intimate, communal living they shared with their platoons:1