I was parked outside the mansion, slumped in my car. Feeling down. Hopeless.
I desperately wanted to live in an intentional community. Hell, I moved to San Francisco for that very reason. But after weeks of searching, I just couldn’t find a good fit. I was starting to give up hope.
And then I came across a Craigslist ad that caught my attention. A bat-shit insane Craigslist ad.
It was for a shared room in an opulent 38-person mansion (with nearly as many chandeliers as residents).
Most people don’t know this about me, but I’ve spent the past 6 years on an obsessive journey with spiritual awakening.
AKA non-dual realization. Self-transcendence. Or the infamous, oft-misunderstood “E” word (rhymes with binlightenment).
I know, I know…it sounds like mystical bullshit. But it’s not.
It’s a very real, tangible experience that many people around the world are undergoing. And that neuroscience is beginning to corroborate.
My entire life, I was convinced that there was something wrong with me. That I was broken.
That I was unable to love.
Relationship after relationship, I struggled to reciprocate the affection of my partners.
It seemed the more they opened up to me, the more it shut me down. The more they moved towards me, the more I pulled away.
Where my heart was supposed to be, I just felt a cold numbness.
I looked around and it felt like everyone else was falling in love with ease. Opening their hearts. Living out their fairy-tale romances.
But try as I might, that realm seemed locked off to me. Nope, I was broken. Fucked up. Alone. And there was nothing I could do about it.
Until I came across the concept that changed everything.
I’m a huge fan of podcasts.
Every car ride, every walk, every search for a parking spot just becomes another excuse to listen to more podcasts.
I mean, I dig podcasts so much, I even started my own.
So I thought it might be interesting to list some of my favorite podcasts that I’ve listened to in the past year or so. They’re divided into a few categories, with standout episodes highlighted. And I also share my favorite podcast app.
For most of my life, exercise was something I did mainly for it’s shallow benefits.
Yeah, I know it’s supposed to be “good” for you and all that jazz…but really, I just wanted to look decent with my shirt off.
Hey, you know you do too!
But recently, I’ve made a big shift in how I view exercise – and it’s made a world of difference:
These days, I workout to FEEL good rather than LOOK good.
It sounds insignificant but it’s made a huge impact on my life.
I’ve spent the past 2 years exploring community living. First in an OM house, then a 38-person mansion, and now, in a 12-person Haight-Ashbury co-op.
And it’s made one thing abundantly clear to me: community is one of our deepest, most foundational needs – and the one thing most of us are missing.