I always thought life was about force. Effort. Discipline.

That if I pushed myself hard enough, through sheer will, I could have the experience of life I always wanted.

That if I meditated hours every day, I’d finally achieve lasting inner peace.

That if I underwent years of therapeutic practices and healing modalities, I’d finally be free of my lifelong relationship attachment and sexual issues.

That if I painstakingly followed the right health regimens every hour of every day, I’d finally be free from my debilitating chronic health issues.

That if I woke up before dawn and followed a strict 3 hour morning routine, I’d finally achieve consistent fulfillment and invigoration.

And I was consistent AF.

I stuck to every routine, every regimen, every habit, with a relentless determination to get what I wanted or die trying.

But no matter how much damn effort I put in…it was never enough.

Relying on signs from the universe, angels/guides, gurus, astrology readings, etc to make decisions is placing your trust OUTSIDE of yourself.

Same with relying on logic, analysis, rules, research, best practices, Yelp reviews, Tim Ferris, etc.

Nothing wrong with using any of these tools as additional input, as supplementary information.

But as the entire compass for navigating your life??

Nah fam 😏

Only YOU can truly know what’s right for you.

If your relationship isn’t feeling alive; if it’s feeling stuck or stagnant; if you’re constantly wondering if you’d be happier with someone else…

…then your relationship is lacking tension (the right kind of tension).

Tension that comes from the both of you fully owning the truth of yourselves with each other. Without sanding off the edges.

Tension that comes from a relationship constantly growing, evolving, and pushing up against it’s former bounds…then bursting straight through to richer, more intimate territory.

Most spiritual and healing modalities have you go “inward”.

Into the emotions or pain, to fully express it so it can be released. Into dialogue with your inner parts, to restore inner harmony. Or into the meditative silence, to connect with your true nature.

These modalities CAN be helpful. They definitely were to me at different points in my past.
But they’re also incomplete.

To spend all your time going inward, trying to heal or clear or connect, so that you can THEN finally live the life you know you’re meant to…is backwards.

That’s actually the real spiritual bypassing.

“Feel the fear and do it anyway.”

Good advice, but only when the “it” is ACTUALLY what’s true for you.

Unfortunately, for most people, the “it” is often just more conditioning/ego bullshit. Fixated on status, fame, validation, becoming something “more”, doing the “right” thing, being attached to limited external goals or outcomes, etc.

In that case, you might as well change the quote to “feel the [conditioning] and do [this other conditioning] anyway” 😆

Following your energy/aliveness/truth doesn’t LOOK any particular way.

It doesn’t look like extravagant trips to Bali. Or jumping out of planes. Or selling all your possessions to live in a cabin.

It CAN look like those things. But it can also look like: moving back home with your parents. Choosing a funny looking jar of salsa at the grocery store. Watching TV. Getting your eyebrows done.

Following your energy is never about what it looks like on the surface.

It’s entirely about the orientation behind it. WHERE it’s coming from.