Growing up as a Bay Area kid in the 90’s, I loved rap. It was in my veins. In my bones.

But I get how others might not feel the same.

I can understand how, to a non-fan, it would just sound like a cacophony of overly-loud, aggressive swearing.

It’s probably similar to how I’d feel if someone blasted heavy metal in my ear. I know tons of people love it…but it just ain’t my jam.

And let’s not forget about the lyrical content of most (mainstream) rap. How crass it can be. How materialistic. Misogynistic. Talking about Gucci this, Louis that, popping bottles, fucking bitches, and getting faded.

As someone who’s spent the last three years living in conscious, intentional communities, I’ve gotten asked a lot:

”How can you enjoy this crap?”

Now this has made me wonder – is it possible to love mainstream rap while also trying to be a conscious human being?

I’ve been feeling depressed this week.

Like many of you, I’m no stranger to this feeling. I’ve struggled with bouts of depression on and off throughout my life. Mostly due to health issues (hypothyroidism) but also just due to the difficulty of being a human in this world.

These lows are always shitty. But the worst part is that they spin an illusion that feels absolutely convincing.

“Karma is a bitch.”

You’ve heard that phrase a million times. And each time, you’ve hoped beyond hope that maybe, just maybe…it was true.

That a cosmic, unseen hand of justice1There are many definitions of karma, depending on the spiritual tradition or school of thought. I’m basing this one off the popular held Western idea of karma. The “what goes around comes around” model. would make sure assholes got the payback they deserved.

The douchebag that ghosted you. The boss who makes your life living hell. That fucker who fucking fucked you over.

Even the most hardcore atheists have all prayed at times, “God, I wish karma would bite them in the ass.”

Well, I have good news and bad news.